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Writer's pictureKaren Alvarez

Surrogacy Myths

Updated: Oct 26, 2020

There are many misconceptions and myths out there regarding surrogacy. Let's explore the most popular myths and explain why they are simply not true for most cases.


Myth: Surrogates only do it for the money!

While compensation may be a factor for some of the women who choose to become a surrogate, it is not always the primary reason. Many surrogates have described their choices and journeys as a "win win" for everyone. The intended family gets the baby they desired to complete their families, and the surrogate gets a sense of fulfillment. The compensation received also allows them to do things for themselves and their families. Some surrogates view their choice as a way to give back while at the same time helping their own families.

Myth: You’ll get so attached, you don’t want to give up the baby!

Previous surrogates explained that while they built a bond with their bellies and adore the baby when its born, they know and understand that the reason they began this process was to help another family have a baby. The baby is not theirs and they don't see it that way. Surrogates go into this agreement knowing and establishing from the very beginning that the goal was for the intended family to have a baby.


Myth: You will feel a sense of loss!

Surrogates who have been through this process, explain that there is a sense of loss but not so much for the baby, but rather for the constant communication that was occurring between the intended parents and themselves. While some intended parents maintain constant communication after the baby is born, other parents want to remain private.


Myth: The baby is genetically related to the surrogate mother!


During a gestational surrogacy, the baby has no genetical connection to the surrogate. The child is not biologically related to the surrogate mothersurrogate mother, who is often referred to as a gestational carrier. Instead, the embryo is created via in vitro fertilization (IVF), using the eggs and sperm of the intended parents or donors, and is then transferred to the surrogate.

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